Satire Seekers Gifts

'Mind filling out this evaluation form first?'

'Only one carry-on.'

"I've never seen Mom this angry before."

The scenic spot you are now viewing is 100% natural.

'I've got it! -- chocolate-covered birth control pills!'

'I'd like to go to the wine lake.'

Financial advisor: "Gone to pay off my debts"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

"It's not easy, but I do my best to keep up with trends."

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"

"DUDE, even if you do slay the dragon, you're making a huge heteronormative assumption."

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

'Sorry folks; economics forced a change of venue.'

Due to COVID-19 the staff has gone home. Please torture self via entering and closing door behind you. Thank You.

Insensitive Driving School

"Of course, it helped that my father was also a king."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sett top boxes for badgers.

a street plant down on his luck (Will Blossom For Fertilizer).

Sedan chair has fluffy dice in it.

Quasimodo Zit.

'Are you crazy?! This guy is way too expensive to let him play football!'

A tough one, I'm afraid!

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

"We think he needs more individual neglect."

Street Prophet Optimist.

" 'Abandon all hope' only comes in the sweatshirt."

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'