Satire Seekers Pillows

'Mind filling out this evaluation form first?'

'Only one carry-on.'

"I've never seen Mom this angry before."

The scenic spot you are now viewing is 100% natural.

'I'd like to go to the wine lake.'

'I've got it! -- chocolate-covered birth control pills!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Financial advisor: "Gone to pay off my debts"

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

"It's not easy, but I do my best to keep up with trends."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"

"DUDE, even if you do slay the dragon, you're making a huge heteronormative assumption."

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Of course, it helped that my father was also a king."

'Sorry folks; economics forced a change of venue.'

Insensitive Driving School

Due to COVID-19 the staff has gone home. Please torture self via entering and closing door behind you. Thank You.

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

" 'Abandon all hope' only comes in the sweatshirt."

"We think he needs more individual neglect."

Quaker Mafia

"Girls marry up. I need a homo sapiens."

"I've only got a few who can get around the world overnight. . . their names are - corona, delta and omicron."

Sedan chair has fluffy dice in it.

Street Prophet Optimist.

'Are you crazy?! This guy is way too expensive to let him play football!'

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

Corona isolation

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.