Satirical Laugh Seekers Gifts

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"That'll be five bucks."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Piranhaclaus

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"It's probably just seasonal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Farmer and FIsherman

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"Projectile hairballing."

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.