Satirical Laugh Seekers Gifts

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

Piranhaclaus

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"It's probably just seasonal."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Farmer and FIsherman

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'I'm an atheist!'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"Projectile hairballing."