Laugh Seekers Gifts

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

"How much should I spend on a bottle of wine?"

Boss, FedEx just delivered a crate full of hazmat suits. Excellent. On your lunch break, drape a couple of them over the trash cans outside every caf

"That'll be five bucks."

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"Have you tried the David and Goliath cocktail?"

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Here Lies Inventor of Autocorrect - Restaurant in Peace

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

Piranhaclaus

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"It's probably just seasonal."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Shell Fire

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"