Senior Laugh Seeker Gifts

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Jerk Gene

Football heads...

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Bald Man Overcomb

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"