Satirical Laugh Seeker Gifts

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

"Anyway, I'm making crazy money selling out humanity."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'We take concerns about billions of pounds of NHS fraud very seriously. In fact I've asked Nurse Miggins to sort it out as soon as she gets back from lunch!'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'Fetch.'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Transylvanian backpackers.

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Bad fake tan day.

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

Giraffe Umbrella

The Runaway Horse

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

A caveman paints from life

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

National Everything Awareness Day

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'