Literary Laughseeker Gifts

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Farmer and FIsherman

"Projectile hairballing."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

"What did Jesus order?"

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Bald Man Overcomb

Football heads...

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"Baxter, I've decided to take you off crisis management."

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

Ask Sadie

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'