Midlife Laugh Seekers Gifts

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

Middle-Age Superheroes

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

The whole "lasts longer" thing isn't really necessary here in eternity.

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'I do wish he'd stop showing off in front of his friends.'

"Have you tried the David and Goliath cocktail?"

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

Same Sexless Marriage

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

'Listen, be fair, George - it's your TURN to take Mrs McCarthy for her lesson.'

Whale Pattern Balding,

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

"How much should I spend on a bottle of wine?"

The Mid Morning Bird

"There's old Fuchburg's harrumph. Right on time."