Midlife Laugh Seekers Pillows

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

Same Sexless Marriage

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"Have you tried the David and Goliath cocktail?"

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'I do wish he'd stop showing off in front of his friends.'

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

Whale Pattern Balding,

'Listen, be fair, George - it's your TURN to take Mrs McCarthy for her lesson.'

"How much should I spend on a bottle of wine?"

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

"There's old Fuchburg's harrumph. Right on time."

'...well it's about to be a midriff crisis.'