Midlife Humor Lover Pillows

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'Dang.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Same Sexless Marriage

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

birthday meets reality

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"I left my wife today. Of course it was to pick up her dry cleaning and feminine products but it felt good."

Whale Pattern Balding,

Live: Middle Aged Men

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'