Mid-life Humorist Pillows

"I'm looking for a tie that says 'I'm not wearing any underwear."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'See, dear? I told you it still fits!'

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'Dang.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

Whale Pattern Balding

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

Rocket charmer.

"75"

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Same Sexless Marriage

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

Castle with parking lot.

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

birthday meets reality

Live: Middle Aged Men

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

"Riley doesn't bark. He tweets."

Whale Pattern Balding,