Mid-life Humorist Pillows

Why don

"I'm looking for a tie that says 'I'm not wearing any underwear."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'See, dear? I told you it still fits!'

Middle-Age Superheroes

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

Whale Pattern Balding

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

'Dang.'

Rocket charmer.

"75"

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Same Sexless Marriage

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Castle with parking lot.

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

birthday meets reality

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!