Midlife Humor Aficionado Pillows

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

"Why bother?"

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'Dang.'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"Avocado...t-toast..."

'You are always living in the past!'

Pregnant vs. Old.

Hits Needed, please click.

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

It's sent from a phone now.

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"It's the Florida kid."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Statue Selfie

Same Sexless Marriage

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

birthday meets reality