Midlife Humor Aficionado Pillows

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

"Why bother?"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

'Dang.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'You are always living in the past!'

Pregnant vs. Old.

Hits Needed, please click.

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"It's the Florida kid."

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

Statue Selfie

Same Sexless Marriage

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

birthday meets reality

"Kick me"