Mid-life Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

birthday meets reality

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Some scents are nonsense.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"...but, seriously..."

Internet Shoplifting

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

Spam.

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'Dang.'

Amateur Spam.

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

Whale Pattern Balding

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

Hits Needed, please click.

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

Download Hot Pics: Leda and the Swan.

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"I've been toiling for months to write the great American tweet."

"My ears are burning - Somebody must be blogging about me."

Same Sexless Marriage