Sporty Satirist Gifts

The Anti-Gun Lobby Olympics.

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

'The dominant buck and the alpha wold meet at midfield for the coin toss and this hunt is about to get under way.'

101 uses of a dead cat: tennis racket

"I think he could be the real thing - he's walking on the water!"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

The Golfing Accident

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

The Leafs win the Cup!

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

The Hockey World

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

'Where's my horse?'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

Racketeer

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"