Athletic Satirist Gifts

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Pete Sampras

The Golfing Accident

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

The Hockey World

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

The Leafs win the Cup!

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Racketeer

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

Football Violence