Sportsmanship Satirist Gifts

Sporting goods: 'That's not very sporting of you.'

Rotten tomato cheats at start of race.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'On second thought, you're right. It was incidental contact.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

The Leafs win the Cup!

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

The Hockey World

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Where's my horse?'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'