Single And Satisfied Pillows

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

He's Tasty!

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

"Lucky!"

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

Bachelor Cake

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"Cute... But way too young."

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

'I hate singles bars. It's like window shopping...you know, looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.'

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Dating site algorithms never die, they just get re-formulated