Happily Unmarried Pillows

Bachelor Cake

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'Don't worry too much about it dear, just say I do and we can get on with the honeymoon.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Augmented reality check

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

Boyfriend Shirt.

He's Tasty!

"Lucky!"

All my friends are getting married. I'm just getting drunk.

"Cute... But way too young."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'I live with grand fantasies Harold.'

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'