Navigating Single Life Pillows

Augmented reality check

Sue meets another Winner

'Why does she torment me?'

No Mum, I'm not gonna marry him...once she's dead I won't have to deal with this crap. Oh god, what am I thinking?

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Thanks, but I already have my 'support bubble' right here."

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'How animals mark their territory'

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"Do you know what girls want?"

Thanksgiving 2020

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'Are you seeing anybody?'

I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

Two children arguing - 'My dad's more absent than your dad'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

He's Tasty!