Singles Life Pillows

"Dibs on the tall one!"

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

He's Tasty!

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

Augmented reality check

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"Cute... But way too young."