Singles Pillows

Woman seeks male companion...

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"Do you know what girls want?"

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

He's Tasty!

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'