Singlehood Pillows

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

'Why cant I find a man who is sensitive, kind and handsome?'

'It's not that I hate ALL men. Just the lowlifes I'm instinctively attracted to.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

'Don't look now - it's a ghost from our Christmas party past.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

Desert Planet

"Alright! Fine! ONE man is an island!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

"I had half a date last weekend."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

'Are you seeing anybody?'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"Rose wants to bring up the child on her own."

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

'And then after we were married for a couple of years your father ran away to join the circus.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Once upon a time there was mummy bear, baby bear and absent daddy bear."

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

Beware of geeks bearing gifts.

He's Tasty!