Being Single Pillows

I knitted him for you..

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

"How much do you want to take out? How much do you weigh?"

"I've tried all the search engines, from Yahoo to Google, but so far none of them are able to find Mr. Right!"

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'This is it, Skeeter.'

"I need a man transplant."

'Hmmm. . . the bee beard may be one of the reasons why you're still single.'

'Thanks.'

Why so sad? All my friends are divorced and I'm not even married!

He's Tasty!

'Still no boyfriend, Enda couldn't shake off her man eating image'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

Bachelor Paddock.

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

'Your dating profile was right. You really do know how to show a girl a good time.'

Man Wearing 'Mr Right' T-shirt: 'Yeah, right!'

The lonesome bubbler

"Of course, all the good ones are fixed."

"I tried being myself, but it wasn't getting me anywhere."

"Peter is completely fictitious, but he's extremely well written."

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."