Staying Single Pillows

All my friends are getting married. I'm just getting drunk.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

Boyfriend Shirt.

Augmented reality check

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

He's Tasty!

Bachelor Cake

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"Cute... But way too young."

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

'I live with grand fantasies Harold.'

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

"Wanna watch a movie, Doll?"

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Woman seeks male companion...