Being Happily Single Pillows

"Will you love yourself, comfort yourself, honour yourself and protect yourself, and forsaking all others, be faithful to yourself for as long as you shall live?"

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

Bachelor Cake

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

Boyfriend Shirt.

He's Tasty!

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."