Long-term Single Pillows

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

"Of course I've had some wonderful times since we've been married. Mostly, while you were at work."