Long-term Lovers Pillows

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

Bert and Edna Bentley - At it since 1943.

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"