Long-term Lovers Gifts

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

Bert and Edna Bentley - At it since 1943.

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'