Long-term Couples Gifts

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

Even though we have to keep our distance...

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"