Long-time Couple Gifts

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

"Man, your old lady really is an old lady"

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

Couple on a Tandem Cycling in Different Directions

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'