Celebrating Long-term Marriage Gifts

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Happy Valentine's Day.

Reading the sports pages.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

French horn.

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Bride playing cello

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

Romance

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

Two men toasting

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

Assisted Living.

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'