Long-term Relationship Celebration Gifts

Next years calendar.

"Arthur and I have been together now for four and a half years, which is a personal best for both of us."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Reading the sports pages.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Your rhino, or mine?'

"Estella, you have the two most beautiful eyes in the world."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

Happy Valentine's Day

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

Even though we have to keep our distance...

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."