Long-term Relationship Milestone Gifts

A pair of eggs use a timer during sex.

"You remind me of somebody."

"We used to finish each other's sentences; now we start them."

'Forty years is as much 'Happily Ever After' as I can tolerate.

"Dear, after twenty years of marriage, I think it's time we talk about this possessiveness of yours."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"You've changed."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Romance

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'In lieu of a serenade, I brought lemonade.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."