Long-term Relationship Milestone Gifts

A pair of eggs use a timer during sex.

"You remind me of somebody."

"We used to finish each other's sentences; now we start them."

'Forty years is as much 'Happily Ever After' as I can tolerate.

"Dear, after twenty years of marriage, I think it's time we talk about this possessiveness of yours."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"You've changed."

Romance

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'