Marriage Celebration Gifts

French horn.

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Bacchus.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Dancing Doctor

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Cardiac Recovery.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Bubbly

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Happy Turkey Day!

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

Johannes Sebastian Bach