Newlywed Celebration Gifts

Niagara Falls (hitchhikers).

Exit/Missed it/Next Time Listen To Your Wife!

A romantic young couple dining

'Is the ice cap REALLY melting or is it US, darling?'

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

"What will the neighbours think?"

baby sweetcorn...

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"...until death do you a favor."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

Is that pancake ready yet?

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"You might ask, 'Can two people who love each other find happiness in an era of skyrocketing deficits?' I think they can."