Newlyweds Gifts

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

'Apparently, just because we took out a mortgage, the bank now expects us to make some sort of monthly payment.'

The reception was held outdoors, next to an ATM, for the convenience of any guest who forgot to bring a gift.

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Rev. Bob, The Realist: '...You may now go from adoring to criticizing each other.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

Motel has two cars parked outside, one with 'Just Married' sticker, the other with 'Just Friends'.

"Hey feet off the table"

'Actually I don't believe in sex after marriage either'

"You're really starting to bug me."

'And when she says jump, do you promise to ask how high?'

Wedding pictures.

Just married.

'...and I promise to love, honor, and take this man for granted until death do we part.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'I believe that's supposed to read 'Just Married'.'

"Do you, Ashley, take Nesbitt and his genome to be your husband?"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Good job I haven't got to worry about my figure anymore.'

"Leave those�.Kevin'll do the washing up."

'Do you Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure John takes his cholesterol lowering medication every day?'

Thank you very much for the lovely wedding present...

"And do you, Bob, promise to put the seat down every time, as long as you both shall live?"

Just Married for his Inheritance.

'May the habituation commence.'

"Did we ask for a heart-shaped tub?"

'When I said I liked the idea of touring the West Country for our honeymoon, you didn't say it was a tour for darts matches!'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"They're both in telemarketing."

'It was her father's last wish. He said I could marry her over his dead body.'

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

Night of the Living Wed.

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Adam with big leaf "In your dreams"