Becoming Newlyweds Gifts

'And do you promise to offer free, unlimited tech support?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

"...until death do you a favor."

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

'I always cry at weddings!'

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'You may now kick the bride.'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"You might ask, 'Can two people who love each other find happiness in an era of skyrocketing deficits?' I think they can."