Newlywed Life Gifts

Just married.

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"Could I borrow a cup of flour and your biscuit recipe?"

"You don't have any silly thing about snakes, do you?"

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

'It's preferrable to having your clothes all over the floor.'

Wedding cake figurines has a husband playing a video game.

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"...until death do you a favor."

Is that pancake ready yet?

'You may now kick the bride.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Get a tomb!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.