Newlywed Gifts

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

Pop-up toaster.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Marriage a la Mode - Breakfast scene.

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'When we first got married, Warren was crazy about me -- now he's just crazy.'

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

Just married.

"Yes I had a fling with her best friend - but it's not a suitable topic for your best man's speech!"

'Now, will you train at the gym with me?'

'What are we having for dinner?'

'They can't decide what goes where.'

'When I said I liked the idea of touring the West Country for our honeymoon, you didn't say it was a tour for darts matches!'

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

'Because I know you Henry!! You'll go charging off with the boys, trumpeting at anything that moves and forget to take the garbage out!!'

'Don't forget to wipe your feet!'

Decorated car with 'Just Married' sign drives next to undecorated car with 'Just Friends' sign

'That's Britney with her new baby and Demi with her new husband.'

'It looks as if my bankruptcy papers have arrived.'

'...And you said you couldn't iron.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

Just Friends

Just Married

"Why is it that every time I say something in quotation marks you respond in italics?"

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

"Honestly, honey, you’re doing great! Now get out of the kitchen and let me take over."

Less Sanctified

'We did it! We each had a good day on the same day!'

"Now remember - ten paces, turn and fire..."

'I like waking to music!'

'Before I bring it in,darling-don't forget you married JANIE Oliver and not Jamie!'

Just went to CVS