Newlywed T-Shirts

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Pop-up toaster.

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

Marriage a la Mode - Breakfast scene.

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"Yes I had a fling with her best friend - but it's not a suitable topic for your best man's speech!"

'Now, will you train at the gym with me?'

'What are we having for dinner?'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'When I said I liked the idea of touring the West Country for our honeymoon, you didn't say it was a tour for darts matches!'

'They can't decide what goes where.'

'When we first got married, Warren was crazy about me -- now he's just crazy.'

'Don't forget to wipe your feet!'

'It looks as if my bankruptcy papers have arrived.'

Just married.

Decorated car with 'Just Married' sign drives next to undecorated car with 'Just Friends' sign

'Because I know you Henry!! You'll go charging off with the boys, trumpeting at anything that moves and forget to take the garbage out!!'

'...And you said you couldn't iron.'

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

Just Married

"Why is it that every time I say something in quotation marks you respond in italics?"

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"At our wedding ceremony, you made certain false statements."

"Honestly, honey, you’re doing great! Now get out of the kitchen and let me take over."

Just Friends

Just went to CVS

Just harried.

"Ok, I get it, you're happy and you know it. Now quit clapping."

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"