Newly Married Couple T-Shirts

"Gee, I don't know -- You drive a hard bargain."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Cry babies.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Couples' therapy

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

His Her Cakes

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."