Newlywed Celebration T-Shirts

Niagara Falls (hitchhikers).

Exit/Missed it/Next Time Listen To Your Wife!

A romantic young couple dining

'Is the ice cap REALLY melting or is it US, darling?'

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

"What will the neighbours think?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

baby sweetcorn...

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"...until death do you a favor."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

Is that pancake ready yet?

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"You might ask, 'Can two people who love each other find happiness in an era of skyrocketing deficits?' I think they can."

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"Get a tomb!"

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"