Long-time Partners Gifts

A pledge of affection. - young lady asking her husband for roast pork for dinner

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

Assisted Living.

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"Synchronized sitting"

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"