Long-time Partners Mugs

A pledge of affection. - young lady asking her husband for roast pork for dinner

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Reading the sports pages.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

Assisted Living.

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"What did we throw at our problems before we had Money?"

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

"Synchronized sitting"