Long-term Partners Gifts

"You schlepped with her, didn't you?"

"I thought videoing ourselves in bed would be more fun than this."

"At least some things still make you pop!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

You are not forgotten!

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"