Long-term Lover Gifts

"Phil did a little soul-searching last night, but he came up empty-handed."

'It's amazing! We've been married for thirty two years now, and I still don't know whether you are fish or fowl!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Reading the sports pages.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Did you miss me?

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."