Long-term Lover T-Shirts

"Phil did a little soul-searching last night, but he came up empty-handed."

'It's amazing! We've been married for thirty two years now, and I still don't know whether you are fish or fowl!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Reading the sports pages.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Did you miss me?

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"Is it just me or are we stuck in the 'Com' stage of our Rom-Com relationship?"

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"I should have had him put into a more manageable format years ago."