Navigating Dating Life Pillows

"But the restraining order was totally temporary."

'It's not a fix-up! You'll see! There's no one you'd even remotely be interested in!'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

Tasty.

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

"I need a man who will commit."

'You're afraid of commitment, aren't you?'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Augmented reality check

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Nah! He's not my type.'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

Dorothy and the singles bar

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"It's probably bad news if she refers to the second date as 'mission creep.' "

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

"This is Stan, my latest project."

"What kind of fear am I dressing for tonight -- trembling, quaking, or just some casual gibbering?"

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."