Navigating Dating Scene Pillows

'For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I just love a nice knight out."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Tasty.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Alligator Bars

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

"I need a man who will commit."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Nah! He's not my type.'

"The catch of the day is me."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

Chick Magnet

"He was that needy, he actually asked me on a second date."

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Dorothy and the singles bar

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."