Navigating The Dating World Pillows

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Tasty.

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"I need a man who will commit."

'You're afraid of commitment, aren't you?'

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Nah! He's not my type.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

Dorothy and the singles bar

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"But the restraining order was totally temporary."

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

"This is Stan, my latest project."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"